This weekend and Friday Fill In

New layout again

I know... I can't make up my mind. I really should just design my own. Until I stop procrastinating you can deal with this one.

So this weekend is going to be busy busy busy! I am applying for jobs. Lots of jobs. All kinds of jobs. I also am attending Leah's Dessert Party that she hosts every year. I hope it'll be fun. And then I am moving out of here on Sunday and to my new place with my new roommate, Ward. I'm anxious and excited. Vin has been great and reminding me to relax myself this whole week because I've just been in a tizzy all week. I've got half my stuff packed and thank you so much to my mom who gave me a ginormous suitcase full of moving essentials. It's been in my back seat since last weekend when i received it. I look like I've been moving all week haha! i bought a laundry basket too so that's been in the back too. I actually moved the basket to our room in Leah's house so now the room is filled with folded laundry, 2 suitcases and that basket. I think there will be more. Hopefully not. I'm trying to keep it as clean as possible with Leah in super cleaning mode for her party tomorrow evening. We'll see how it all goes. I'm going to do this fill in and then get some food and pack some more.

So...here we go!

1. While the cat's away the dogs play?

2. Dessert parties are fabuloso!

3. Children belong in the coal mines..... kidding!.

4. I would like a kiss, hug and to have strawberries dipped in chocolate presented to me when I get home from work or shopping or what have you.

5. This may seem odd, but I'm not celebrating Halloween this year :(.

6. I'm moving this Sunday and that seems like a fine idea to me!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to cleaning, packing and maybe a scary movie, tomorrow my plans include more packing and then a Dessert Party!! and Sunday, I want to MOVE IN TO MY NEW PLACE!!!!!

Thoughts on a Wedding

I just recently got back from my cousin’s wedding. These events always get me thinking about future plans and how I would conduct the events.

My cousin had a beautiful wedding. It was small, simple and had a Texas flair of course (she wore cowboy boots under her dress at the ceremony, he donned a cowboy hat at the reception, and their first dance together was of course…. 2 step). There were a lot of fun moments. Pretty much everyone on our side of the family showed up. That was great because I hadn’t seen some of them in so long! I got to see my cousin Kitty and Great Aunt Lavern (because she’s the greatest :-p) who I hadn’t seen since I was maybe 13 years old. Both my grandparents, my 2 aunts and my uncle were there too. It was just great to see everyone.

I love weddings. I always have. And even though I love them, I have so many problems with them. At least when it comes to my own personal application of them. I have never been a very traditional girl. I try to fit in that mold at times but it never really works. I do want the dress, the ceremony, the cake, the honeymoon, but I think that if I actually executed my wedding it would be far from traditional.

The first problem is that I am not religious at all and if Vin is the one I am going to marry (I’m crossing my fingers here) then he isn’t very religious either. Both of us would be happy to do a Justice of the Peace type deal. I just don’t think I would be comfortable with any religious figure officiating my wedding. Heck! It would make my day if Darth Vader officiated!

My second problem is the amount of people that would be attending the wedding and all the planning that would go into that. We both have large families who would want to be involved. I’m not upset about this. I would be more than happy to have our families with us to celebrate our day but then that means that it wouldn’t really be our day. The months before hand would be spent planning to accommodate everyone else: what is the most compatible dinner menu? Where can I seat everyone so that they are all included? What kind of attire should I wear? Will it offend anyone? Who do I involve in the wedding party? How do I involve them? When is the most convenient time to have it so everyone can be there? I love my family and I love Vin’s family but these plans do not fit my ideal of what a marriage should be.

Marriage is a union between two people. It shows that the two are promising to be committed to each other for who they are for the rest of their life no matter what happens. I don’t believe that it should include everyone and their brother. It should be OUR day. If I was to completely have it my way I don’t think I would even wear a white dress. The white dress just has too much symbolism to it that I just don’t seem to fit with.  I would probably wear a dress but nothing traditional in the American sense at all. And I know Vin isn’t comfortable in a suit so why subject him to that torture?

I’m not one of those people who want to get married because it’s my duty in this Christian world. I’m not one who wants to get married just for the tax breaks and insurance benefits. I am someone who is materialistic enough to want to put our emotional commitment on paper and symbolize it in precious metal. I am someone who loves someone enough to tie myself to them for the rest of my life with an official movement. I am someone who wants to get married because I want to physically show that I am committed to this life and that I love no other man but the man that I have chosen to marry.

What it is to feel.... nothing....

Have you ever just wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear but you're not depressed?  I have this feeling today. I just want to disappear. I want to disappear from myself as well. I can only describe it as wanting to literally not exist for a few hours. It's not a matter of I want time to myself where I can read, watch a movie, or listen to music. I literally want to feel nothing. I want to go into a comatose state. Haven't you ever wondered what that felt like? What would it feel like to literally feel nothing?(haha)

I swear I'm not depressed, stressed, angry, anxious, or any other self destructive emotion. I'm just female and dealing with nature's gift. ^_^

New Layout... New plans

hello....

do you like this new layout? I do! I'm going to tweak it a little more soon because it's not up to my standards yet so keep an eye out for more changes.

Alot of stuff is changing in the next few weeks. Once everything is figured out I'll fill you in.

till next time

T